Me, myself, and I

With-in this entry I will post 10 things that I think that are great about me, three of my most meaningful experiences, and what I feel about myself- who I am and who I want to become. And in later posts there will be more, but this is the main entry.

10 things that i think are great about me. Hmmmm, I found this one rather hard but I really thought about it. 1) I love how I love the gospel so much. It has kept me strong with enduring faith that endures to the end- and to me there is no end to my faith. 2) I love how I can adapt to different situations. I have learned this through out childhood, learning to act appropriate in certain situations. Which in the long run will help with my communication skills- making it stronger. 3) I love my smile. Not meaning to sound stuck up or anything. But I really do love it. I love how I can use it to make others smile and it makes me happy to see other people smiling. And I can also use it with-in my family and friend relationship, I kind of think it as a relationship builder. Most friendships simply start with a smile. 4) I love how I can listen well. To me it is a skill that is needed in life. Listening is a part of our survival. Our survival in friendships and family relationships. Without good listening skills most relationships will fall. it can't be a give and give relationship, there has to be give and take. In relationships there have to be talking and listening from both sides. 5) With the listening being said, I love how I can easily express myself with words and body expressions. It makes it easier for people to understand me. But when I want to hide how I feel it can easily be done for me. 6) Cooking abilities. I know this while 10 things I love about me just took a turn, but I really love my cooking abilities. And I know others who do as well. To me it is a way that I vent- throwing in different ingredients and letting my mind wander while at the same time focusing on the smells and taste. Eating is the reward. 7) Athletic abilities. My athletic abilities is also another way that I vent. Well, cooking and athletics kind of go hand in hand. I know I can go run off any extra negative energy or those calories that I consumed while eating. I know I can run fast and hit hard when it comes to softball. Softball is my favorite sport and it is on the softball diamond where I feel at home the most and without my athletic abilities, it would not be possible. 8) I love how I can love. Make sense? I didn't think so. What I mean is, I love how I can love others. Loving them by serving them and basically being there for them in times of need. Loving them by being arms in waiting, open for a hug. 9) I love knowing that I am smarter than I think. I always put myself down a lot but when I bounce back, my eyes open to a lot of new things. But I bounce back while I do my school work, realizing that learning comes so naturally to me. I consume it like a sponge consumes water. 10) My strength. Life has been rough for me, something not a lot of people know. But throughout my childhood and teenage years I had to have strength and with that constant use it just kept growing. It really prepared me even more for my own real world. But I admit I am overly cautious and I learning not to be, because I know now that I am safe.

Three of my most meaningful experiences are all when I was surrounded by family. The first one being when I was baptized into the church. I has just turned 15, despite being born into the church, I was never baptized til then. The second is when I made the decision to try to make it to BYU-I. I worked harder in school, applied to attend school here. And then discussed everything with my family and let them know that I made the decision of going to school here. We all knew that it would build my testimony so much. The third was when I was sick and my family supported me, I lost the rest of my hearing from being sick and they stuck by my decision of getting a cochlear implant. It took months of recovery and speech and hearing therapy and 2 surgeries- one to put in the implant, the other to have my tonsils taken out due to a severe infection that was building in my system.

What do I feel about myself? That is a good question. It fluctuates. There are days where I hate myself and I really want to fall off the face of the earth and to never reappear. Then there are days that I love myself- those are the days that my internal strength pull through. Today, I love myself. I am learning to love myself more and more everyday with help from my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. My faith in them keep me strong and learn of charity- truest of love. Some people may be like, "whatever, how could that possibly be?" And all I have to say is, "IT IS." I know that Jesus is the Christ and that I have a father in Heaven whom a lot of people, I as well, call God. Without them, i would not be where I am today. Matter of fact, I do not think I would be alive. So all in all. I love myself and it has not been an easy road to do so.